I'm addicted to Instagram (& social media) + resources to work on your relationship with social media too
And I'm working on it? + resource dump
I’m pulling out an article from the archives because I think it bears sharing again and an update.
A recurring theme…struggling to quit
If you’ve been here awhile, you’ll probably have picked up on a trend of my on-again, off-again relationship with instagram (I won’t go near TikTok with a 10 foot pole).
As I went through the archive, more and more articles seemed to mention social media and my relationship with it. I didn’t realize how big of a presence it has in my life nor the amount of head space I give it. It often feels as though there’s a program constantly running in the background of my life - the program being social media; my relationship to it, potential content to create and share, my political and moral ideas about it & the control big tech firms are imposing on our lives and so much more.
But at the end of the day I realize, I’m actually addicted to it.
Psst, hi! Do you struggle with social media and/or want to find more meaning in your life. Join the club, we have resources.
I took a break last year… What happened when I stopped?
I took a four month break at the end of last year and into January of this year. It was great!
I felt my focus return,
I was able to be more present,
I spent more time meeting up with people in *gasp* real life,
Found a greater sense of clarity,
read (for pleasure) more than I had since childhood,
and pursued new and different hobbies (discovered a love for fermentation!).
Overall, I felt more "myself" and like I had space to do what I wanted, without being influenced by what I saw online - whether that was mindsets, things to do, try out, read etc. It left me room to pursue the things that piqued my curiosity naturally rather than something I happened to see online. If I did go on the internet, it was intentional - to look up the name of a book or answer a question (I got really into fermentation so I'd look up information on that).
I didn’t realize how insidious social media can be. I’m not the type to really be influenced into buying another consumer good (I’m not grabbing the link for new shoes, makeup etc). However, I did find that I was influenced in my mindset - particularly towards pushing myself to grow more, to “get outside my comfort zone”, to hustle and produce. Social media and being hyper-aware of how I looked in photos that I’d post and being inundated with images of other beautiful people with amazing bodies also contributed to my disordered eating and body image issues. This is something I notice creep up if I spend extended periods online. Social media and its influence is so pervasive and constant that I didn’t even notice how much of a hold it had, until I got offline.
The influence was also subtle (ever heard of “instagram face” which is basically how more and more people are getting injectables and “tweakments” and slowly beginning to look the same). It wasn’t just physical aspects but also how my home should look, how I should clean, activities to try, books to read and on and on. It left no space for me to pursue my own interests and follow my innate sparks of creativity. I was influenced to try what I was seeing online.
Why, then, did I go back?
There was an element of "missing out". Even when in person with certain friend groups, I realized a lot of their conversation was discussing content they'd seen online. I had no idea what they were talking about and felt left out.
I also felt more creatively inspired to share and instagram seemed the place/way to share most easily and accessibly. [the irony is that this creativity was most likely a direct result of NOT being on the platforms because it has diminished when I returned]
I thought it would help me grow my business. However, despite doing more in person breathwork practices, I would frequently have clients who came to my sessions at studios and ask if I had instagram... I wanted to connect with more people and spread breathwork, and instagram seemed like the place to do it.
But as soon as I was back on it, I felt the creativity and focus leave me. I found I was reading less (when off instagram I was finishing multiple books a week and thoroughly enjoying it). I felt more anxious and the background programming of how to turn every insight or event into a post returned. It gives me the ick!
I'm currently thinking of how I can leave the platform while still growing my business. I'm still not entirely sure of what to do.
Update Feb 2025: I left instagram, and I took a break from my business due to personal reasons. The positive news is that I don’t really miss IG anymore and don’t think it was helping me grow my business in any meaningful way.
The underlying question: Why am I addicted?
This is something that I’ve been wondering about. Because when I had disordered eating, the food itself wasn’t the issue, there was always something driving the problematic relationship. I know that there must be something similar going on with social media too.
I’m addicted to the hope of a post going viral and my business (and therefore life) being changed forever.
I’m addicted to the instant gratification and the comfort and self soothing of the scroll. Instead of being bored, lonely or rather than dealing with an uncomfortable feeling, I can simply reach for my phone.
I’m addicted to the busy-ness. It gives me a sense of accomplishing something when I post a reel or create content. I’m doing something productive, my mind screams at me. Even though there are increasingly small returns on investment (investment being my time and energy).
Feb 2025 update: I no longer think I’m addicted to IG, but I have transferred a lot of my screen time to YouTube (which I find I have a more positive relationship with). Over time all of the reasons I mentioned above diminished and I have been feeling more present. I don’t struggle with busy-ness anymore and have less of a need for instant gratification.
Further investigations:
Some of the questions I’ve been trying to reconcile with myself are:
How can I honour my need for privacy while connecting with people where they are (which is overwhelmingly on apps)?
How can I reconcile my beliefs towards big tech while also growing my business?
I don’t yet have answers to these questions but I do feel increasingly called to pull back from Instagram and direct my focus and energy to places like Substack or my in-person offerings.
Feb 2025 Update: I got off the apps and things have largely sorted themselves out. My beliefs towards big tech have only deepened since all that has happened in the US since Trump came to power and I find myself increasingly repulsed by the idea of contributing to their wealth.
Since writing this article I have created more resources on Investigating Your Relationship with Social Media, which includes journalling prompts, a practice, further lessons (“from addicted to apathetic”), and a podcast episode.
Here are a few of the resources I’ve been sifting through as I look at my relationship with social media:
Videos:
Substack Articles:
As I was writing this another article was posted: Battling My Addiction to Instagram as a “Content Creator” by
The end of the extremely online era by
Investigating your relationship with social media by
Books:
Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier
(This is more of an opinion piece, but his perspective as someone who was in Silicon Valley was interesting to me).Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention - and How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hart
(This one wasn’t specifically about social media but a large part of it and well researched. It reaffirmed a lot of what I’ve personally experienced in my life as well as in my teaching career and working with children who are exposed to increasingly amounts of screen time.)
Check out the series of resources on investigating your relationship with social media:
week 1 journal prompts +playlist here.
week 2 guided practice
week 3 community share
week 4 podcast
Join me in the comments:
What’s your current relationship with social media? Have you noticed any changes, made any changes, or thought about leaving?
Sending love,
Elizabeth
Join a group breathwork session (they’re pay-what-you-can)
I left IG last April and never looked back. It did nothing for my business except cause me frustration. Substack is the only SM I use now, as I left FB this past fall. I have my accounts open in case people need to reach me through DM, but notifications are off. It has been a fabulous difference. I love Substack because it's about sharing ideas and making connections, not about jumping on the latest trends to get seen. Much more my pace. Welcome to the club!