Positioning yourself as a non-expert
A new approach to personal growth & The Breathing Space
When I first started my old [now closed] coaching business back in 2019, I signed up with my first business coach. His advice was to build authority online and position yourself online as an expert so people would trust you and hire you. Because people buy from those they “know, like & trust”… I then proceeded to trauma dump and share my experiences “vulnerably” on these here interwebz. [insert deep sigh]
In the beginning, when everything was new, it was exciting. Especially during the pandemic, it felt like a great way to connect with others. But increasingly over time, it has felt burdensome and like an invasion of my privacy. Prior to deciding to have an online business, I was actually a fiercely private person who rarely used instagram at all. I had become someone who was essentially posting private journal entries on the internet for others to consume.
Over time I began to share less and less about my personal life and experience with my disordered eating and body image struggles. If you’ve been reading this substack for the past year or so, you may have noticed that I’ve stopped publishing weekly stories and podcast episodes. I decided to take a break from the online space and you can read more about my experience in this article:
But then I came back online and started sharing again, primarily on instagram.
I noticed once again how deeply social media impacts my wellbeing and my internal world. Instead of being present in the moment, I was once again taking photos or videos so I could turn them into content. I was writing captions in my head instead of fully enjoying the moment. My personal realizations after a breathwork session became reels. Inevitably, comparison to others followed as my own use of the apps increased. Because even though I promised I would be a creator of content rather than a consumer, it was incredibly difficult to uphold and I’d catch myself scrolling.
Anyway, I will share more about my current relationship with instagram in the future and my ever-evolving ideas on social media as a whole. If you’re interested in exploring this for yourself, I’d recommend the following two books:
What does all of this have to do with becoming a “non-expert”?
Everything and nothing.
It comes in part from a warped sense of obligation to be a “person with an opinion” on social media in order to increase reach, engagement and get attention.
It’s part of the need to “speak from a place of authority” in order to “make sales”.
It’s also part of a “coming clean” on my part.
Because constantly positioning myself as an authority is, frankly, exhausting.
Instead, I want space to be human.
To share from a place of constant learning, growth, evolution and with the opportunity to be wrong, make mistakes and learn from them. I want to share as myself, rather than some facade of “having it all figured out” because NEWSFLASH none of us have it figured out.
If there’s one thing behind all of this, it’s that I feel we are fundamentally missing something in our society: a sense of community and connection to others. Many have noted, experienced or witnessed the loneliness crisis. I think this need to justify ourselves and put our best foot forward, particularly online, creates walls between us. It doesn’t leave space for dialogue or relating as one human to another.
This does not mean we need to share every aspect of our lives with everyone we meet. No, I’m advocating the exact opposite (#youdontneedtoshareeverythingonline #yourlifeisntjustcontent).
It about finding a place where you can be yourself. Where you feel comfortable enough to explore different topics, themes, patterns, insights into your life. This is the goal of “The Breathing Space” - to allow you space. To take a breather, so to speak.
Which is why I have an announcement.
The format of this newsletter is changing
Going forward I will not be writing as an expert of any particular thing. Yes, I’m here to offer space through breathwork and listening circles. I suppose I have a speciality in that. Instead this newsletter will become thematic.
Each month we will explore a different theme/topic/intention together.
The beginning of the month I will share journalling prompts (and most likely playlists! because music is fun! and powerful!) to prompt you to investigate for yourself what the topic of the month means to you or how it is showing up in your life.
The following week I will offer a practice, perhaps a short guided breathwork practice, or a meditation or a visualization to really sink into and connect with the monthly theme.
The following week will be a written post where we get to share anything that we’ve learnt in the month, as well as a resource dump by myself and members of the community
And finally at the end of the month there will be a wrap up podcast episode that dives into the theme and anything that jumped out from the community as well.
After the month has ended we will have a community listening circle where we get to share experiences. I’ll be hosting these on zoom and anyone is free to join (they are confidential and not recorded so whatever is shared in the circle stays there).
Then we move onto a new theme the following month. Each theme gets a full month of exploration with the intention to provide the time and space to really dive into the theme.
Of course, if you want individual support, 1:1 breathwork sessions will be available as well as weekly group calls (Open Space).
Thank you for taking the time to read my inexpertly written piece. If you enjoyed this, please send it to someone else, it’ll take you 10 seconds while it took me hours to write this!
This is a really great piece Liz. I find myself often wondering 'where's the story' in everyday situations. Some I use which is great but equally don't want to spend all my waking hours 'story farming' - reminds me of people who chose to video entire music concerts on phones, and in my humble opinion, miss on the joy of just being there. Also with you on that privacy thing - I want to share some useful things, but not at the expense of my privacy or those close to me.
I love this, Liz. I’m so tired of folks presenting as experts and declaring opinions in absolutes. I’m far more interested in showing up from a place of not knowing, exploration, and recognition of our shared humanness. (Also, I quit all social media except Substack Notes, and feel much lighter as a result!)